Friday, October 31, 2008
What... what makes a person anxious, nervous, scared, worried, fearful? Why is it so? What drives such emotion?
When I think about it, my hands shake, my legs tremble, my mind goes numb, my tongue seizes, my heart freeze.
I can't get it out of my mind, and it turns to regret when I do not accomplish it.
It evolves into regret, and I can't cry, because it is my mistake, my fault, my inability.
Even if it doesn't happen, speculation brings about the same chain of emotions, and why, why does it affect me so much? There are people who progress through this like nothing, but as for me, I guess still it is something that spikes my soul.
It's not a box others can unlock.
I must find my key, find my way, find where I started, and will start again.
Wakarimasen; posted at 1:32 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
What makes a person idolize another?
I do have my theories, but there are aspects to it, fundamental ones.
Abilities, talents, background, basically relatedness
However, in nearly one hour, I who never ever really got a person I'd wanna be a fan of got.
Brea Grant.
Yes, random and all...
But while i'm trying to understand why exactly this person is making me fanatic, fanatic may be extreme... so hyped. yea hyped. why exactly would most likely be...
well that wasn't the point i was driving at.
but im interested, and im a fan of, for no reason at all.
but there are a few things that intrigued me
expression and a unique personality that remains. like, natural unique instinctive reaction.
and talkativeness as well i guess. but it's just so...
it feels like... nosebleeds in manga.
and what if i had a dream i wanted to achieve that i couldn't?
Wakarimasen; posted at 3:19 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I see my rainbow
over the ocean
falling down like a
star from heaven
and when they disappear
i stare into the blacken sky
void of all the matters
leaving me nothing with to cry
where are the skies when i need them
where is the rain that pours my tears
where is the light that shines upon me
where is anything to soothe my fear
crying through a hailstorm
sickened with pain and ashes
i want back my rainbows
where i know im fine
Wakarimasen; posted at 9:41 AM
Saturday, October 18, 2008
sometimes, i realise i don't know where i am.
but there will be a time, that there'll be some people who come into my life.
they reach out, whether they exist or not, to me.
and then i feel like im somewhere.
and it breaks fast, but it feels like it's there forever.
then the group disappears, and then the next group comes along.
after awhile i wonder what's the point.
and then i figured, the point wasn't the whole idea anyway.
as long as im happy, for that moment, i guess that's eternity for me.
but i guess i don't really know what im saying. haven't been for a long time.
Wakarimasen; posted at 2:31 PM
and then there's a whole lot of words i couldn't express for a moment
Wakarimasen; posted at 2:20 PM
Friday, October 3, 2008
Where perfect envisions of dreams and goals
Socially-upper norm professionalism of works
Bounded by rules, structure and form in monochrome synchronization
And then, and then... and then there's me
Breaking down the machinery of functioning woes
Tearing apart shattering inside out the weaves the merges
Symbolism of silent bargains and the rare transaction
This little icon marked "I", where should it go, should it be?
If a thousand says you're right when I know I am
Then I'll add another million and still stand my ground
The world will continue to march it's solitude
But like straight lines on our planet, they go in a circle
You say how can I, stuck where I am, be calm
You wonder, adding justified brilliance to enlightenment, how I can be sound
But people forget, as their probability constantly remoulds, rebuilds
I'm happy I'm stuck on this little island no one have managed to come, for it means I'm not stuck on another one
Wakarimasen; posted at 2:35 AM